I was targeted by a drive-by!!!
It was a horrible experience.
The chaos and fear were very real.
Those emotions quickly transitioned into confusion, frustration, and anger. Needless to say, this was a significant emotional event that immediately created a stressful situation.
I’m talking about “drive-by leadership”.
Let me tell you a quick story and see if you’ve experienced anything like this as well.
A few years ago, I was in the middle of mediating a conflict resolution between a couple of my team members. It was going well and we had gotten to the point where both of them trusted me and each other enough to start honestly and openly airing their grievances.
It was like blowing a hole in a dam. All the pent up feelings and frustrations came pouring out from both sides as we got everything out in the open. It was a very aggressive, dynamic exchange because of the personalities of the two leaders.
But the important thing was, they weren’t attacking each other verbally anymore and were actually starting to make progress toward mutual understanding.
Just then, my boss walked into my office to ask me a question about a project I was working on.
He paused for a few seconds, made assumptions about the situation, and then told my team members what they needed to do about the conflict and to get back to work. Without waiting for a response to his leadership advice, he told me to come talk to him about the other project after lunch and left.
In the wake of his drive-by leadership, there was chaos. And fear. My team members were afraid to continue working through the conflict resolution in my office because my boss just told them to get back to work. And I was afraid my team members wouldn’t work through their issues and that the conflict would continue to be a thorn in the side of the team.
They were confused about what to do, frustrated because the trusting environment that they were talking in had been destroyed by my boss, and still angry because the original conflict hadn’t been resolved.
Ultimately, I decided to assume the risk of a verbal reprimand from my boss and encouraged my team members to stay in my office for a little while longer to finish resolving the conflict.
It took a lot of extra time and effort, but eventually my team repaired the breach between them. Their trust of me and each other increased, and their loyalty and motivation for our team increased.
But my boss had lost all trust and credibility with them.
Have you ever experienced something like this?
Maybe you were working on a project or helping someone on your team work through something. It was messy and stressful because you were unpacking the issues and working through them.
In a situation like that, have you ever had someone appear to “lead” you? Did they assume that they knew what was going on and were the magical leadership solution that you had been struggling without?
If so, they probably threw out some pre-templated, generic, default, “buzz word” rich leadership advice and then moved on quickly to another area that obviously was in desperate need of some leadership (now that all your issues had been resolved and no questions existed).
In the wake of this “leader’s” exit was chaos, confusion, and frustration. You were just the victim of a drive-by leader.
Some of the leaders I know sincerely want to be a great leader for their team, but they still show up as the drive-by leader from time to time.
>>>3 Keys to Avoid Being a Drive-By Leader<<<
1. Assumptions kill credibility.
Don’t walk into a situation assuming you have all of the context. Effective communication requires mutual understanding.
If you haven’t made an effort to understand everything that’s going on and what the context of the situation is, your leadership will be ineffective and you will lose credibility with your team members by providing misguided advice.
2. Mentorship > Advice.
Everybody has that random uncle or cousin at a family gathering that always wants to give everyone advice on how to do things in their life.
They may be really successful and experienced at the thing they are giving advice about, so it may be legitimately good advice. But most people will nod and smile, and then proceed to do whatever they want because free advice has no perceived value.
Mentorship represents a relationship and commitment between a leader and a team member to help the team member become a better version of themselves. It’s not just random advice – it’s strategic, intentional action steps designed to reach a mutual goal.
Mentorship is valuable because it places the focus on the team member. Advice places the focus and attention on the leader.
3. Unrequested coaching undermines your “like, know, trust factor”.
To mentor or coach someone effectively, they have to trust you and trust that you have their best interests at heart. They have to believe that you can help them achieve their goals.
Before they trust you, they have to know you – who you are, what your experience and expertise is, and what your values are. They have to discover what makes you a leader.
And they’re not going to take the time to get to know you if they don’t like you.
You know who most people don’t like? The guy standing on the corner of an intersection yelling through a megaphone about whatever religious, political, or social issue they are passionate about.
Leaders who try to give unsolicited advice or coach people who haven’t requested it are just like those guys on the corner with the megaphone.
People may pause for a minute out of curiosity, or smile and nod politely as they walk by, but most of the time people ignore the guy with the megaphone. Or sometimes get annoyed by him.
Don’t be that guy!
Don’t be a drive-by leader.
Tell me about a time you had to deal with a drive-by leader in the comments below.
Remember: everyone deserves exceptional leadership, and you can be that leader.